I was chatting with the librarian who works in the staff library the other day, and when he wanted to emphasize a point, that this thing he was about to say was the absolute truth, he prefaced it with this:
"What's that saying people around here say - 'no word of a lie'? - okay, so no word of a lie..."
And then he went on to tell me the thing. But I had to interrupt him:
me: "Wait. What? That's a 'thing' around here? 'No word of a lie'?
him: "Yeah. It must be. I never heard it until I moved to Hamilton."
me: "Huh. That's weird, cos I think just now is the first time I've ever even heard that phrase."
me: "Yeah. No word of a lie."
Seriously, I crack my own shit up.
But really, is this a thing? Has anyone else ever heard this? He's from western Ontario, so you know... But there are a lot of things that are regional - perhaps this is one? Help me out here.
Okay, so the main reason I am gracing this blog with my presence after a way long hiatus is to announce my new year's resolutions! That's right, people. The head instructor at our karate school told us to write down our goals - that's when they truly become goals. Otherwise? If you don't write them down, they're just dreams. Once they're in print? Goals. Dude can be pretty philosophical while he's inflicting pain. So not only am I going to write them down, but I am going to write them down for the world to see. Or at least the 6 of y'all who keep reading this drivel.
Now, new year’s resolutions are usually of the “eat better and exercise more and get in shape” genre, but I actually already do eat pretty well, and I’m in reasonably good shape (don’t hate), so what’s left? These things:
#1 Perfect the nude/neutral lip.
So when you're blessed with skinny lips that are practically the same colour as the REST OF YOUR FACE it's hard to go out in public without something on them to show the world that you do indeed have, you know, a mouth. So I am constantly trying to find the lipstick/lipgloss/tinted lipbalm that emphasizes my mouth, without making me appear clownlike. People, it's uphill work. I have dozens of these products and there is just nothing that suits. It's either too pale (hi, I already own that look) or it's too dark (well, hey there, Bozo). So, this year? This year I vow to get professional intervention in the lip area. Surely to god there is a makeup person or esthetician out there who can help me. As of this week? I am officially on the hunt.
**I should mention, before I proceed, that I never said my resolutions would be life-altering or even intelligent. They're just things I'm gonna do. So as long as we're clear on that.**
#2 Drink more gin.
So who doesn't enjoy a nice glass of wine after a long day at work? Well, me apparently. Apparently? I enjoy 2 or 3 or even 4 glasses of wine. See the thing is, once the bottle is open, I somehow think that it must be entirely consumed at that exact time. It will not keep! So if John and I open a bottle, it is often gone before it's time to sit down at watch CSI. On occasion, another bottle may be opened. And that just leads to staying up too late, talking about politics and the state of the economy. Or arguing over the names of old Supertramp albums. Whatever. The thing with the gin, is that I will not actually consume an entire bottle.* In fact, if mixed properly with chilled vermouth and a couple of nice big fat olives? I will actually stop at one drink. So more gin! Hooray! Problem solved.
*unless I’m hanging with Vivian. In that case, all bets are off.
#3 Go out for lunch more.
By “out for lunch” I don’t necessarily mean out to a restaurant or anything. I really mean I just need to get away from my desk for a bit at lunch time. Sometimes I eat in the other office (ooooh radical!) but I’d like to go even further afield as often as possible. This is easier said than done in the winter months, of course. In the spring and summer I will go for a walk and eat picnic-style on a park bench, or take my lunch out to the patio overlooking the city and enjoy. During these neverending winter months, it’s definitely more difficult. I will have to explore my options here inside. I know there is a staff lunch room, but you know what those can be like – people bitching and kvetching and that is way hard to listen to. So I will begin an investigation, and hopefully find a nice quiet area that isn’t the desk in my office. Also the occasional restaurant visit would be nice. Anyone up for lunch with me?
#4 Unplug more.
People, I am quite serious about this one. I spend way too much time in front of a computer, mindlessly browsing, hanging on Facebook. I also spend too much time in front of the TV. Usually not watching anything in particular – there’s nothing on, but yet the TV is. Why is that? So I can complain about there being nothing to watch? It’s ridiculous. Time is one of the most amazing and precious things we have, and here I am just a-wasting it hardcore. I’m not giving up TV altogether, of course, that would be silly. But, our new rule is that we watch the shows we want to watch, and in between, the TV goes off. It’s seriously not rocket science, but I have never yet been able to accomplish anything even close to this, so it’s a big step.
#5 Blog less.
Ha, you’re thinking – e-L how can you claim to want to blog less when you’re barely able to pull off one or two measly posts each month? Well, that, in part, goes along with #4, and learning to unplug. I do believe, blogfriends, that it’s time to pull the plug on this amazing journey.
I’ve been blogging here on and off for almost 4 years, and it’s been great. But the last few months have been less so. I don’t know if it’s a change of focus or of priorities, but I’m no longer, as it were, feeling the love. Not from any of you, of course, y’all are great. It’s just time.
Will I be gone forever? I doubt it. Perhaps I’ll regroup and resurrect the amazing journey. Or, perhaps there is another blog in my future, one that will better reflect my energies and focus. I honestly can’t say right now. But if and when I figure it out, you will be the first to know.
Thanks to all of you for the laughs, for the inspiration, for the bloggy friendship.