Monday, November 10, 2008

one more reason not to have your mother in the delivery room

Pregnant women, listen up! Why not have an orgasm when you deliver! Really! This video shows you how! (You can also read about it on www.orgasmicbirth.com, but for some reason the website doesn't work on my computer. There are some files that I apparently don't have the gear to support. I'm actually ok with that.)

And no, I'm not making this up.

Now, I am all for the female orgasm. As a matter of fact I am a big fan of the female orgasm (duh). And if you're delivering your baby and you manage to have one, well good on you. I guess?

I don't know, people. I just think this is a LOT of pressure to put on a labouring woman. And you have to wonder, is this going to be another one of those "things" that women like to hold over other women. You know what I'm talking about:

'I was in labour for 873 hours, but I never even CONSIDERED using drugs. It's really a shame you had to have them, isn't it?"
"Oh, you gave up breastfeeding? Gee, how awful for you and for the baby, who will now likely succumb to the effects of toxic devil formula, not to mention how YOU must feel like a failure. Shame, that."

I exaggerate - but only slightly. What is it with the passive-aggressive shit?

Anyway, so now, thanks to Orgasmic Birth, will the conversations include "great that you were able to deliver naturally, but didn't you orgasm? Wow. Clearly you were doing something wrong, my birth was just rapture!"

I'm not telling you all anything new by saying that in our society there is so much pressure put on women to be so perfect all the time. To live up to ridiculous standards. And pregnant women get some of the worst shit there is - people treating their bodies as if they were some sort of freakshow and actually not attached to their person - commenting on their weight-gain, skin, how they're carrying, whether or not they're waddling, touching their belly, giving unwarranted advice. Not to mention the pressure of celebrity baby bumps and articles encouraging you with "Tips on Getting your Pre-Baby Body Back - Just like Christina, Angelina and J. Lo!!"

Birth is incredible, it's wonderful, it's miraculous. Does it have to be orgasmic too? When I read about this on Jezebel, one of the commenters said something like "how long before someone comes up with birth porn?" And I seriously wonder, probably not long. Why does everything have to be sexy? Again, I'm pro-sex and I'm pro-sexy, I just think damn, can't a girl catch a break? Isn't it enough to bring a child into the world?

So tell me, am I missing the boat on this? I mean, I don't know. I had two c-sections and trust me, there was no feeling anything below ribcage, so maybe I just missed out? Is this just unnecessary pressure, or is this something pretty amazing? The women in the video seemed to be having a good time, so...maybe?

Anyone?

10 comments:

CynthiaK said...

Actually, if looked at from a different perspective, I would think this might put a lot of pressure on husbands who would then have to match that supposed ultimate orgasm...I don't know many men who have the ability to descend from uterus to vagina during sex. Or have the girth of a newborn, for that matter. ;-)

vivian said...

Wow! Seriously? I am also a big fan of the female orgasm but somehow, I just can't get on board with having an orgasm during childbirth. Call me a prude but something just seems wrong with that.

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