Did you know Bauhaus has a new album? And it has songs entitled "Endless Summer of the Damned" and "Black Stone Heart" and "International Bulletproof Talent"? It's true. And it's awesome. And did I ever tell you about my Bauhaus obsession? No? K, settle in, yo.
So. When I was in grade 11 - that very formative grade in the Ontario school system of the 80s - I was bored. Not intellectually bored, but boy-ually bored. That's right people, the boys, they were boring me. It's not that I'd, you know, "worked my way through them" or anything. Oh no, e-L did not roll that way back then. It was basically that there were no boys that were worthy. And ok, by worthy, I do not mean that the boys that existed didn't deserve me, I just mean that the boys were kind of... meh. I can' t explain this, nor can I really defend this, because I'm sure there were plenty of "worthy" boys within grasp but for some reason they just did not make their fine selves known to me, so that's what I was thinking a-way back then. My highschool + no worthy boys = zzzzzzzz..... Okay, so anyway. Part way through the year we had an influx of new students. Which is weird, yeah? But it happened that we'd get kids transferring from the catholic school system (for those of you who are all "wha'?" - yeah, Ontario has a public and a catholic school system - it goes way, way back in our history and...ok, I'm not going there, but suffice it to say it wasn't great) So every year, kids in the advanced grades would transfer to our school so they could actually get decent classes and the requirements for university (sorry, I know I said I wouldn't go there, but...) and we'd get a bunch of new students to check out. One such student was a boy who will always be known to me as "Squares" (not his real name). Squares arrived in my history class one day, all Bauhaus shirt (see? segue??) and nice jeans. I was awestruck. "Who was this boy?" I wondered. He's so new. And so worthy. Clearly, I now had a focus for my day, which was pretty important circa 1984. Now, Squares was smart, and he was funny and for the love of god I just could not stop staring at him. It turned out he was a really nice guy, and we actually got along pretty well. Of course, e-L being e-L, I just assumed it was all friends platonic whatever, but deep down? I wanted me some Squares.
So time went on and Squares and I had some fun. We'd chat before class and we'd kind of forget that class was starting, so our history teacher would make some coughing noises, and we'd be all "wha?" and then, embarrassed, we'd head to our respective desks. He'd shove me as he passed me in the hallway and I'd blush and carry on. Then in the cafeteria I'd throw something at him and he'd duck and laugh and I'd think "oh my god why doesn't he just..." Okay, family blog, let's not go there. Anyway, let's just say there was some...um...tension.
Squares never did graduate with our class, and I'm not entirely sure what happened to him. He disappeared somewhere during grade 12, never to be seen again. We had some mutual friends, but I never dared to ask them what happened to him, since I didn't want to be known as "that girl that asked about Squares". So I never knew.
But before he left, I discovered Bauhaus. All due to his shirt. Is that not a total highschool thing to do?? "I know nothing about this band, but the boy I adore likes them and wears their shirt so I am totally going to check them out and LOVE them because HE does". And the thing is? I totally did love them. And I am going to buy the new album. Thank you, Squares.
A few years after highschool I met my friends Ric and Terry for drinks over Christmas, and we were reminiscing about our old school friends. At this point, as more mature adults, I figured I was safe, so casually asked "so what ever happened to Squares?" They looked at each other and said they hadn't seen him in a few years, but why did I want to know? So I told them "well I totally had a crush on him, hello!" And they were "wow - yeah he liked you, but we never thought you were into him."
Moral of this story? Highschool guys know shit about anything. And Bauhaus is depressing. But I will always love them.