Thursday, November 09, 2006

the cost of a smile

So a couple of weeks ago in a post, I made mention of Charles' "million dollar smile". Well, while it is in fact stunning, it turns out that it's not quite a's going to be more like $5000. Yep, the boy is an orthodontist's dream, and we're starting the process to get the mouth all fixed up purdy-like. We have to be clear with Charles that it isn't *just* because his teeth are wonky - he truly does already have the most gorgeous smile - it's more to alleviate any problems down the road. Jaw problems, headaches, all that jazz can happen (and in some way already have for Charles) when your mouth is out of line. So he gets to go back in January and have some crazy disco bondage headgear thing cemented to the roof of his mouth. I was all "wha'?? ce-ment? like... as in a ce-ment pond? seriously?" and Charles was all "dude, cement in my mouth, that's AWEsome!!" So, as you can tell, he's totally jazzed by this whole endeavour. Even the fact that I get a wrench - a WRENCH, people - with which I have to ratchet this appliance every night - excites him. Sure, probably until it starts to HURT! Then I shall once again be the big meanie.

A couple of observations though; when you're talking dentistry and payment plans and stuff like that with kids around, it makes for some interesting conversation. For instance, the whole thing about the "appliance". I could totally see Charles thinking "oh. my. god. they're going to put a freaking refrigerator in my mouth! AWEsome!" And then there was the matter of insurance. When the assistant left us briefly he said " so uh, the insurance? is that insurance on my teeth? in case, like, they fall out?" So I explained the whole "insurance so we can help pay for all this" to him. And he was "whoa, we have to pay?" Yep. We have to pay. And when he starts in with the "I hate you and I hate the dentist and I HATE THIS THING IN MY MOUTH!" oh, how we'll all pay.

So anyway, due to this impending process and the fact that I have no job (sadly my trophy wife gig doesn't pay much) I have had to postpone the "Girly Getaway of Much Fabuliciousness" that was to happen in Las Vegas to celebrate my rapidly approaching 40th birthday. As I said in the email I sent out to my friends "the responsible adult showed up to play, and the party girl was told to step off." So. The responsible adult once again rears its ugly head. But never fear my friends (blog and otherwise) there will be a party, and it will rock out loud. And there definitely will be a Vegas trip. Just not in January like we'd originally planned.

Oh, and please don't ever mention to Charles that I'm not going to Vegas because of the orthodontist costs. He'd be crushed. He likes his mummy to have a good time.

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