I'm a multiple sneezer. I always have been, and probably always will. If I'm going to sneeze, I'm damn well gonna do it up right. That's right, if a sneeze manifests itself, it's going to be followed by another and probably another, and well, let's be honest, maybe a dozen...or more. It's just the way I am, and I know there are lots of others out there like me, I've even met a couple. If you're a multiple sneezer like me, you know you're considered a freak. Even people who KNOW that I do the uber-sneezing still manage to look at me like I'm a freak. It's just life as one of us, right?
The thing with people who are not multiple sneezers is that they somehow feel the need to share with you how MUCH of a freak you are. As in I get a lot of: "wow, aren't you done yet?" "are you ok??" "awwww you sound like a cat when you sneeze!" Or my least favourite: "blessyoublessyoublessyoublessyou". Or, the laughing, so much laughing: "ohmygosh *laugh laugh* what's happening to you *laugh laugh*?" You know what? I've heard it ALL before. Now with people I know, friends and the like, I can deal. I guess it is kind of strange when I go into a sneezing fit, and I can laugh along, then tell them to shut up, cos hey, they're my friends right? And no doubt they have little quirks that I can good-naturedly tease them about down the road, so it's ok.
It's the strangers that truly need a right choking. Case in point. I'm in the grocery store last week and the sneezes come on in full force. Probably like 20 or more in 15 seconds. Even for me, quite an accomplishment.
shopper #1: OMG are you ok?
me: oh yeah, fine
shopper #2 blessyoublessyoublessyoublessyoublessyou ad nauseum
me: *shooting her death looks through my sneezes*
shopper #1: allergies? or a cold maybe?
me: oh, who knows *pushing my cart faster now to get away*
shopper #1: wow, well maybe there's something in HERE that you're allergic to *pointing to a bin of squash*
shopper #2: it's a bad time for allergies, are you sure you're ok?
me: *running now with my cart*
shopper #1: take care of that cold!
shopper #2: bless you! again!
WTF? Now, who in their right mind spends that much time analyzing a stranger's sneezing? The only people I know who ever get that much unwanted attention and advice are pregnant women and women with brand new babies. Having been both of those twice, I have no desire to ever get spoken to by anyone in a public place ever again, and now it's the sneezing that's bringing all the crazies to the yard? Thanks but no thanks. I know for most people, they think they're being witty and original. But, as I said before, I've heard it all.
Oh, and the infernal nonstop blessyoublessyou? That has got to stop, people. Please make it a resolution. The freaky multiple sneezers of the world thank you.