Saturday, December 30, 2006

this one goes to eleven

On December 30th 1995, John and I were married in a lavish ceremony that included horse-drawn carriages, dozens of white doves released into the air, royalty, and way more glitz than all those Bachelor/Bachelorette TV weddings put together.

Ha - gotcha.

Actually it was a pretty simple ceremony, as ceremonies go. And there were no horses - hell, we barely even made it to the reception hall because we'd forgotten to organize a ride for our dumb selves. Luckily one of the groomsmen (not for the horses) happened to be hanging around the church so we got a lift with him in his rented Neon. Sweet ride for the newly established mr. and mrs.

I said it then, and I will say it until I draw my last breath. It's not about the dress, the ring, the doves or the champagne fountains, the favours or the linen. It doesn't have to be storybook, textbook, MarthaStewartLivingbook, none of that. It does have to be perfect in that the match is perfect. That the person you've promised to spend the rest of your life with is perfect - and not in a Cosmo-ten-ways-to-determine-if-he's-perfectly-into-you way - just perfect - for you, and you alone. And damn it if I didn't get me some near perfection all those years ago. On that day I figured I was about the luckiest girl in a white dress ever, and I stand by that today. Sure there have been some ups and downs, some shit has gone down. But all in all, it's perfect.

Happy Anniversary, John. I will always love you. (think Dolly, not Whitney...)

Monday, December 25, 2006

Peace on earth...

...can it be?

I absolutely love love love this...and yes, I saw it when it originally aired in 1977. I was ten years old, and I thought David Bowie was about the most delicious thing I'd ever seen. That bit pretty much set me up for a lifetime of rockstar and crooner adoration...the rest is history...

Merry Christmas blogfriends near and far...wishing you all the best of the season. Let's be good to each other.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

...and His Name Shall Be Called...

Wonderful, Counsellor!
The Mighty God,
The Everlasting Father,
The Prince of Peace!

But you can just call him Charles.

And he was born this day 9 years ago, on an afternoon very much like today; bright and sunny, no snow, and not too cold. Right around now, we were making the trip to the hospital just to get checked out. I was convinced they were going to send me home - so convinced, that I didn't even bother to bring my bag with me. Nah, they'll send me home and tell me to wait for hard labour. But they didn't, and about 3 hours later, Charles was born via emergency c-section. To this day I still get a lump in my throat and a feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking about what might have happened if they had sent me home, or if I hadn't decided to go get checked out at that particular time. All the what ifs...

Thankfully, 3:30 pm marked the start of our amazing new journey as parents, at the same time the scariest and most incredible day of my life.

Happy Birthday Charles, my shining star. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Monday, December 18, 2006

three vials of blood...

...two dozen forms to fill out,
and a first stage TB test!

That's how I spent my morning, running from employee health to HR in order to get all signed on for my new job. That's right - my new job. I had to fill out an extensive health questionnaire that included my family's health history and all that. Then came the TB test, the blood pressure and the blood work, followed by a woozy walk back to my car and the drive downtown where I met with HR. They had lots to tell me about, including benefits (!), pension plan, holidays and oh so much more. It was damned exciting, and for those of you who are all "been there done that" just know that for this girl, this "real" job is all that.

Then I went out for lunch with my mum and did some shopping.

The trophy wife lifestyle dies hard.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

it's the most kitschiest time of the year...

Which means it's time to revisit that holiest-of-holy-crap-can-you-believe-this-stuff websites, the Cavalcade of Bad Nativities!

I know I posted this at some point earlier this year (or late last year) and unfortunately it's not been updated lately. The site author done gone and had herself a baby, so yeah, I guess she's kind of got an excuse...

Anyway, enjoy. These things are truly, truly things of beauty...bad beauty....or something...

I know I'm feeling more festive already. And slightly creeped out...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

everybody loves peter

I never watched Everybody Loves Raymond, I found it annoying. I did, however, like the character that Peter Boyle played, and in more general terms, I really liked Peter Boyle.

He died today, at the age of 71. A young man, really.

And to me, he will always be the monster from Young Frankenstein - classic.

Friday, December 08, 2006

where to begin?

A good question. Should I start with "the job"? Or The Who? Or, should I start with the uber-sickness? Hmmm.... Well, since "the job" came first, let's start there...

I got the job! I am finally once again gainfully employed! Or, rather, I will be, come January 2nd. It's a very happy thing, to have a fulltime job, complete with benefits, and sick days and - dare I say it - holidays! I feel very grown up after all these years of working part-time, contract, suck-blood-from-me-and-make-me-happy-to-give-it, jobs. Oh happy day!

Now, next? Well next would have to come the sickness, followed in quick succession by The Who concert. Intrigued? Read on blogfriends...

So Saturday night Max started throwing up. Ah yes, the typical mid-December illness in our home. Usually it's much closer to Christmas, so the fact that it all went down within the first week of the month is pretty great. Except.... Well, except that I got it. Carly arrived on Sunday, the lucky girl, and I greeted her at the airport with the news that I was not planning to eat or drink until such time as I figured the virus had left the building. Really, how nice is it to serve your guest soup and bread and ginger ale, "just in case"? Not very, I agree. But that's what happened.

So all went well with me just feeling mildly yuck - until late Monday afternoon. The plan was to meet other Who fans at a bar in Toronto and then after some pints and revelry, head to the ACC. Always fun to hang with other fans prior to a show, catch up and get pumped for the concert. And I was doing ok - really. Sipping club soda and trying not to look too closely at the burgers and nachos and fries that were being passed around, chatting to my friends. Then it hit and it was downhill from there. Now when you're sick, the last place you want to be sick is in a public place. Particularly in a bar and particularly in this particular bar which is, well, not the classiest establishment in the city. Anyway, I did compose myself, excused myself to get some air and went outside, leaving Carly with my hefty bar tab of approximately $2.85. So Carly joined me and we headed toward the ACC where, upon arrival, she checked out the merch tables and I checked out the proximity of the washrooms to our seats - which was pretty good actually, fortuitous for me - and then I made use of said facilities - twice.

By this time I'm thinking, well I've barely eaten anything since Sunday morning, so hey, maybe this just won't go anywhere, which were famous last words. I did manage to make it through the opening act - The Pretenders, who were freaking awesome - then I left to puke. I came back and made it through the first 3 songs from The Who and had to leave again. And I was never really able to come back until the last 2 songs of the encore.

So what did I do? Well, I managed to befriend a very nice usherman named Norman, who told me he would let me stand in the aisle if I wanted to - a very sweet gesture, because normally they make you go to your seat for fire hazard reasons or something - but he said he'd let me stand (or lean, which was more likely by this time) as long as I liked. So I did that for awhile, but then just couldn't stand anymore so I found myself a chair near one of the concessions and sat down. This is where I spent the rest of the show - in between running to the bathroom - where I'm sure I was an example of what not to do before a concert for parents of teenagers. If only they could know that I wasn't stoned, that I was actually just rocking the norwalk/avian flu/bubonic plague combo platter, they'd have patted my head and told me how sorry they were that I was missing the show. So if any of y'all were there and saw a very pale dark haired girl in a black t-shirt and jeans leaning against a table, please know that no alcohol was involved in my making. And oh, it was so sad; I was so sad, and while I did manage to make it back to my seat to hear Listening to You and Tea and Theatre, it was still so sad to know that an incredible show was unfolding while I was sitting outside.

So the good news? Well yes, there is some. Carly and I managed to make the drive to Grand Rapids the next day to see the show there. We were both well enough to attend (although it was touch and go with Carly until just about an hour beforehand), we were in the 2nd row, it was an amazing show...

...and we all lived happily ever after.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

through the wringer... kind of how I'm feeling today. Which sucks, because I was all set to go out of NaBloPoMo with a blogging bang. But now? Meh.

Anyway, lots to look forward to in the coming days, so the down in the dumps won't last long. There is a visit from Carly on Sunday! A Who concert on Monday! And another one on Tuesday! And maybe even - dare I say it - a new job!

So hold tight blogpeople, I'll be back, I won't abandon my medium for good. Thanks to all of you who kept up with me this month. It was a bit of a chore, but I'm glad I did it. I do feel a sense of accomplishment, and I'd probably do it again. Just not right away...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

oh it's always something

So today I had a "second interview". According to some sources, if you're called for the 2nd interview, you have a 50% chance of getting the job. Others say it's about 33% - as in, a 1 in 3 chance. Basically, if you're called back, they probably don't have more than 3 people that they're calling back. So it's a good feeling to get the 2nd interview, and off I went this afternoon. The interview started with me meeting up with one of the women who interviewed me the first time round. She took me to the woman who'd be interviewing me today, and I waited in the hall while she went in to the office of the interviewer. They spoke in hushed tones as I waited in the hallway. For the first minute or two I thought "well, okay, she's giving her the rundown on me, no big." But the hushed tones went on.....and on.....and on....and by now, I'd been in the hallway about 5 minutes. Which to me, is a loooooong time. Because? People kept walking by. And I had to move for them. And they'd look at me. And not really know what to say. So it was a little like being at the principal's office, except that usually at the principal's office there's a bench to sit on. Not that I was ever at the principal's office as a child - I was good - but you get to know what's where in school, right?

Anyway, finally the hushed tones subsided and I was invited in for the interview, by now, shaking in my seriously hot boots. So in I went, and it was awesome. This woman was great, we really clicked and the questions were answerable, and I think I did a good job. And at the end of it all, she wanted to offer me the job. Wanted to....but couldn't. There is a glitch with an internal candidate, so they need to work that out before they can make me an offer.

So really, isn't this just my luck? Like the CBC job where they loved me, had already called my references and were all set to DIAL MY NUMBER but then the funding got cut?

So y'all keep your fingers crossed for some internal candidate squashing. I just don't wanna be a bridesmaid anymore.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

a change is gonna come

I've never been closely involved with a company that has undergone a "major restructuring/reworking/revamping", whatever you want to call it. I worked for the government for awhile, but came in after the cuts. I also worked as career information specialist girl at the college for awhile and one of the big parts of my job was to provide info for people who had been affected by cuts, layoffs, etc. It was hard, but the person who did the job before me was the one who had to deal with the really difficult task of helping fellow college employees recover from being cut. Again, I managed to come in after the cuts. And Stelco? Well, let's face it, from the start that position was dodgy. It was a contract at a company that was making huge changes, and while it was disappointing to once again be out of work, I certainly didn't feel the loss that a lot of people did.

So the news from John today really hit hard. Lots of these people? Well, he knew them well. I knew them well...and their wives/husbands, their kids. Some of them we'd been on holiday with. Others we'd see at all the big - and little - company functions. They came to our parties and we went to theirs. It was....well, it was like family. So I'm hurting for these people. For a few I'm sure it's a good thing, something they'd been expecting and in a way maybe even anticipating. A time to take stock and move forward with their lives. For others, it was likely devastating, and they'll have a hard time recovering. I know they'll be well taken care of, both financially and with mid-career job search preparation assistance. But for today, the walk to the car, the drive home to tell their families, that's got to be rough.

And, I so wish I could help.

Monday, November 27, 2006

i'm reverting

But it's ok. Tonight I am in total 70s child mode, and it's because of the Electric Company special on PBS. Even the pledge breaks were tolerable, so I must be getting older (really, it's just a good time to pee and get another glass of wine) But oh! That show is even better than I remember. And even John - poor, poor John - who never ever got to see the show, living in a cable-deprived area of northern Ontario as he did - loved it. I firmly believe that the puns and word play that I have enjoyed my whole life have to do with continuously digging that show. Of course my parents are crazyass punners too, so that helped. But so much of what was great about the Electric Company was that it didn't talk down to kids. Kids will always know if you're patronizing them. They did back in the day when I was a little kid and they do today. So the Electric Company was serious funny. Like Sesame Street, but edgier, groovier and more sophisticated in its humour. The EC was a little bit Laugh-In, and a little bit Carol Burnett with some real education thrown in, and no matter who you were, you could not help but be excited by "Silent E" or "Letterman" (no, not David) . And I am, to this day, SO proud to say that my nickname when I was about 7 or so was "Easy Reader". So thank you Rita Moreno, Morgan Freeman, and company. I have never, ever been so enthralled by a childhood memory as I was tonight.

And those EC DVDs?? They are SO on my Christmas list it's not even funny. The next generation needs to see this. What I say.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

she's a roller....a high roller baby, my my...

So yeah, my view from the hotel room last night. You got that right, the 22nd floor, people...and we are talking both the Horseshoe and the American falls here, so give it up!

To the left (ok you can't actually see it here) was the fabulous Fallsview Casino Resort, and it was, indeed, fabulous. Not my cup of tea, really, but still fun to have been there once. I was really more interested in the shopping, as the place apparently has some mighty fine shops. We had dinner at Wolfgang Puck's (check me out, talking like we were hanging with Wolfie) which was lovely, then on to the slots! I'd never been to a casino, so I was jazzed to try my luck. But, uh, $20 in 20 minutes? That is SO not a lot of bang for my Canuck buck. After that it was just boring. But apparently the rest of the population of Ontario? (seriously, I'm sure that's about the number of people in this place) So the place to be.

So, will I go back? Maybe. I mean, it's a cool place for sure. But the opulence and the waste - not to mention the ridiculous amounts of stirrup pants, sweatpants, bus tours and mullets - might make me inclined to think otherwise. It's hard not to think about the amount of money this place is making and maybe what it could be better spent on. Which is poor sentence structure for sure, but you get the drift. I know it brings a lot of tourists to Niagara, but there is just so much about the whole thing that seems so wrong. So, will I be able to handle Vegas? I guess that remains to be seen.

Sometimes it's just not good to let a bleeding-heart liberal out on the town.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

outta here!

Well, just for today. Heading off to Niagara Falls this afternoon for the 20th anniversary of my Navy girl friends Christmas party. Yes, I said Navy. I spent 10 years in the Reserves as a musician. So really, there was never a chance I'd see any action. Well, other than the kind you can get on land...

So we've got a swish hotel suite booked, we're going out for a nice dinner, maybe take a drive by the falls to check out the light show, maybe take a wander through the casino (I've never been to a casino, so I'm keen to see what all the fuss is about!) and just have a general good old time. That's what it's all about.

Anyway, cheers, and happy Saturday all - enjoy the ridiculously unseasonal November weather - go golfing or something!

Friday, November 24, 2006

why pbs rocks


i) Tonight they showed Singin' in the Rain, which is - without a doubt - my all-time favourite movie. The little tap dancer girl in me fell madly in love with Gene Kelly. I was 8. This was, of course, long before I even knew what being in love was all about, but I did love him deeply. I cried hard when he died, because I always wanted to dance with him, and I never had the chance. I still love him, and I love that movie more than any other.

ii) After Singin' in the Rain, they had an episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. This was my favourite show when I was about 10. And, it used to come on at 10pm all those years ago. How do I remember this? Well, we had a babysitter who used to let us stay up and watch it while my parents were out. This really helps explain a lot. Really.

iii) Last but not least, there is a PBS special on The Electric Company on Monday night at 9:30pm. Probably the most brilliant show ever made for kids.

So PBS? You totally get my vote.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

i heart vivian...

...and CSI, and Roger Daltrey....but mostly Vivian for serving me wine and cheese and bread and dip after yoga class and while watching tonight's CSI episode. So fun. And a good episode to boot! Best line:

While looking at a photo of the police officer who was allegedly the last person to see Roger's character alive:

"Well, that's a real good looking boy"


Oh, and this is completely unrelated - really - but an interesting concept, don't you think?

And yes, I do completely realize I've made two orgasm-related posts in less than a week.

That's life.

Thank you Micky Dunn... heh....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

bring it on

Tomorrow night. CSI. Roger Daltrey. I shall be giving thanks. Big, big thanks.

Happy turkey day tomorrow to all who celebrate. :)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

been caught reading

So if you ride the subway, bus or streetcar in Toronto, beware this woman. Well, okay, don't beware (as I'm sure she's a very nice person) just be aware that she is the author of the amazing Seen Reading, and she will check out your reading material and she will blog it. And y'all thought I was nosy... Pretty cool stuff, and stuff we've all done, right? I mean who doesn't check out their fellow passengers' reading material? I firmly believe it's not just me. Quite obviously, it's Julie Wilson too.

Monday, November 20, 2006

he's the chairman of the bored

Max informed me this evening that school is boring. I was all "wha'??" because up until now he's been the education poster child. Running up the stairs when the bell rings to be the first one to put away his backpack and get to his seat to start working on whatever work/activity was on his desk. Bringing home ridiculously detailed artwork and perfectly formed letters. Performing rousing renditions of whatever song was being worked on in music class. And just, well, just being an all around excellent grade one student. But tonight, for some reason, he was all heavily sighing and eye rolling, and yeah it's all just sooooo last year.

Now, the competitive uber-parent in me surfaces, gets all puffed up and starts to think "well, that's it, he's a genius! He's bored, and that's a sign of geniusness (or geniusisity? apparently he doesn't get this from me...) but anyway, he needs to be tested! We must know the extent of the genius! But then, the cool, funky and overtly laissez-faire parent that I normally am reappears and thinks "let's be rational here, this is a kid who enjoys showing people his bum, and just about falls over laughing at a good fart joke, so let's not get carried least until we get the report card".

So really? I think Max is like the rest of us. He's smart, but occasionally, well, stuff is just boring. He's enthusiastic, but stuff that you normally find fun and interesting? Well, it just sucks. Maybe it's November. And maybe it's because the sun just. never. shines. anymore. But whatever it is, I'm sure he'll pull through. After all, there's Christmas, right? And Christmas as we all know, is all about Transformers and eating. And that my friends, is never boring. Especially for Max.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


So B.C. won the Grey Cup this afternoon. Mes condoléances vers Montréal. Ah well, just wait 'til next year anyway when my Cats will so represent.

Oh, and the pic below could be what Calvillo and the rest of the Als were saying today....or maybe not...maybe it's just me stretching a blog post? Nah....

Saturday, November 18, 2006

i got nothing

Seriously. It's Saturday night, and honestly, I have nothing to report. Yet here I am. Because I am NaBloPoMo!

Oh. Well, okay, there's this. Cos, yeah, that would suck. Or would it? Hmmm.....

Friday, November 17, 2006

thanks, john!

Thanks to John, not only did I remember to post today, I also got my post idea from him. John rocks. He does, however, like to show me these ultracool posts before I've had my first coffee, when I'm hardly human and presyllabic. But I'll forgive him....

Link found via The Genealogue:

Ah, Paris.... (strangely related to my post from yesterday, yet somehow much weirder) Enjoy the girl of one facial expression and head posture. Too funny.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

gay paree

So my mum and I jetted off to Paris today. Flew in to see the newest "maison de Carol et Ian", friends of hers. We had the grand tour, did some shopping, had lunch in a quaint little cafe and then flew home. Well, okay actually we hit the 403 and drove through the fog to Paris, Ontario. We still did all that other stuff, just it's not nearly as cool to do it 20 minutes up the highway.

Paris is a nice little town. It was raining and super foggy, so any lovely town is ugly in the fog, but it was still a nice time. We had lunch with a bunch of blue-hairs from a bus tour, then checked out a few gifty-type shops and then headed for the piece de resistance, the True Value hardware store. Seriously. I am a sucker for hardware stores, particularly small town hardware stores. They have EVERYthing. And the True Values? Well, they're the best. We used to have one down the street and they saved our ass more than once, having crazy shit in stock, and wasn't it just the crazy shit we needed. Awesome.

A few years ago, True Value closed. I was pretty sad, now I have to drive to buy a rake? Birdseed? Paint? Ugh. It remained empty for awhile, and then the next thing we knew, another sign went up - "Welcome to the First Unitarian Church". Now I'm all for freedom of religion, but it seems like a total ripoff to me that my beloved hardware store done got all churched up. I mean really, there are tons of churches around here - you can't go a block without hitting a church or a synagogue. Lots of religious choices in these parts. But kickass hardware stores? None. So for the longest time my bitter self wanted to take a walk into that church and demand door hinges, nails and a bucket. I never did (I'm not a complete heretic) but I do miss that store. Now I've just taken to calling it the Church of True Value.

Which, when you think about it, isn't a bad name for a religious institution.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

career days

So Charles and Max have been talking careers with me. Yes, they're only 8 and 6 respectively, but dudes, they're so thinking long term. And the conversations have gone something like this:

Charles: I'm definitely going to be a karate instructor when I grow up. Oh, and maybe a massage therapist too.

Me: Cool. You can totally kick someone's ass making them work super hard in karate class and then invite them to the massage room where you'll relieve those sore muscles.

Charles: Yep, that's the plan!

Me: Possible conflict of interest, but whatever. Great idea! Max, what about you?

Max: Well, I think I want to have an ice cream shop with lots and lots of different flavours.

Me: That's awesome, I love ice cream, I will definitely go there

Max: Well, for the adults there will also be beer and wine!

Me: Dude, seriously? A licensed ice cream shop? You rock!

Max: Yep!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Everyone has one, right? Today I heard an absolutely amazing one on Sounds Like Canada. Please, go visit Mary-Jo Fetterly for a story that will knock off all your socks.

4 minutes under the wire....boooyah!! 'night y'all...

Monday, November 13, 2006

grey cup week!

So the eastern and western final games were played yesterday and I'm excited for the outcome of the east, but disappointed with the western game. I was really hoping for Saskatchewan, and I'm sorry it was such a rout. But....I am just thrilled that Montreal beat the Argos! It's not that I love the Alouettes all that devotedly, it's just that I intensely hate the Argonauts. But that's just football. Now if it were hockey, I can't ever cheer for Montreal. Strange, huh?

Anyway, on to Winnipeg and the 94th Grey Cup! The 94th, people - this is one seriously revered tradition in Canada.

In other news, apparently we shall never see the sun again in southern Ontario. The drizzle continues, and the fog - oh the fog - continues, and the vice that is barometric pressure continues to squeeze my head. Thank goodness for wine and season 1 of Lost....

Sunday, November 12, 2006

sunday shopping

I'm confused. Lee Valley Tools is closed on Sunday. And yet....and yet...the Amish Furniture open.

Does anyone else see the irony of this??

Saturday, November 11, 2006

three things

Three things that totally made my day today - in no particular order:

1) a purple glitter pen
Yeah, I know, but cut me some slack, people. I have two boys. Boys do not have glitter anything, so to find this in our playroom....well, I was just beside myself! It must have come in a loot bag from some party some time, and the kids, having no use for anything glitter, left it alone to die. So it's mine, now, and so very, very lovely. And I pledge to use no other pen from now until it runs dry. Which could be any time, I have no idea how old this thing is.

2) a new conditioner
My hair salon was out of my usual conditioner, which was horrifying. I don't do well with new hair products. Seriously. I'm faithful to my stuff. My stylist recommended a different one, and although I was skeptical, I gave it a shot, and it's just. awesome. The hair is super shinyrrific today, it rivals the glitter pen...but it's not purple. I know. I'm shallow. So sue me.

3) a compliment
So I'm at kickboxing class today, and we're doing open rounds on the bag - just hit, kick and punch it any which way for 2 minutes at a time. It's so fun. Anyway, I'm doing my thing and the girl on the other bag stops mid jab and says "whoa, did you just do a spinning backfist??" And I said "uh, yeah" And she said "that was TOTALLY AWESOME!" Score. My spinning backfist is totally awesome.

I love Saturdays.

Friday, November 10, 2006

red, red wine...

...makes me forget...what I was going to post. Seriously, I had this post all lined up earlier, and it was going to be great...then what happens? I open a bottle of wine and have a glass and pfft...right out the proverbial window. Ah, I'm sure it will come back to me eventually...

So, instead I will give you a treat. Yet another song from the soundtrack of my mind (which is becoming increasingly more twisted, and so much more 80s than ever before). This one wasn't there when I woke up, but something...something obviously sparked a memory long since hidden....cos really, who thinks of the Blow Monkeys anymore?? Oh, and I so had that same hat, hair and eyeliner in high school. Dude, didn't we all? And wasn't it sometimes hard to separate the boys and the girls? Good times....goooooood times.....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

the cost of a smile

So a couple of weeks ago in a post, I made mention of Charles' "million dollar smile". Well, while it is in fact stunning, it turns out that it's not quite a's going to be more like $5000. Yep, the boy is an orthodontist's dream, and we're starting the process to get the mouth all fixed up purdy-like. We have to be clear with Charles that it isn't *just* because his teeth are wonky - he truly does already have the most gorgeous smile - it's more to alleviate any problems down the road. Jaw problems, headaches, all that jazz can happen (and in some way already have for Charles) when your mouth is out of line. So he gets to go back in January and have some crazy disco bondage headgear thing cemented to the roof of his mouth. I was all "wha'?? ce-ment? like... as in a ce-ment pond? seriously?" and Charles was all "dude, cement in my mouth, that's AWEsome!!" So, as you can tell, he's totally jazzed by this whole endeavour. Even the fact that I get a wrench - a WRENCH, people - with which I have to ratchet this appliance every night - excites him. Sure, probably until it starts to HURT! Then I shall once again be the big meanie.

A couple of observations though; when you're talking dentistry and payment plans and stuff like that with kids around, it makes for some interesting conversation. For instance, the whole thing about the "appliance". I could totally see Charles thinking "oh. my. god. they're going to put a freaking refrigerator in my mouth! AWEsome!" And then there was the matter of insurance. When the assistant left us briefly he said " so uh, the insurance? is that insurance on my teeth? in case, like, they fall out?" So I explained the whole "insurance so we can help pay for all this" to him. And he was "whoa, we have to pay?" Yep. We have to pay. And when he starts in with the "I hate you and I hate the dentist and I HATE THIS THING IN MY MOUTH!" oh, how we'll all pay.

So anyway, due to this impending process and the fact that I have no job (sadly my trophy wife gig doesn't pay much) I have had to postpone the "Girly Getaway of Much Fabuliciousness" that was to happen in Las Vegas to celebrate my rapidly approaching 40th birthday. As I said in the email I sent out to my friends "the responsible adult showed up to play, and the party girl was told to step off." So. The responsible adult once again rears its ugly head. But never fear my friends (blog and otherwise) there will be a party, and it will rock out loud. And there definitely will be a Vegas trip. Just not in January like we'd originally planned.

Oh, and please don't ever mention to Charles that I'm not going to Vegas because of the orthodontist costs. He'd be crushed. He likes his mummy to have a good time.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

so you think you can - uh - poledance??

So Blogger was down when I was trying to post earlier...good thing I remembered, eh? Not sure how the "sorry but my provider was down" would play out with the whole NaBloPoMo thing.


Thought I would talk briefly (ok I wanted to talk at length, but it's freaking late now) about how some of my friends decided to do a pole dancing night. Uh. Yeah. So it happened last week, and I haven't heard any details, and honestly, I'm not sure I want details. I'm too tired to get in to the whole thing right now, but as you can probably tell, I'm not a fan. Nope, not a fan. You say empowering, I say demeaning. Potato, potahto - let's call the whole thing slutty. Tell you what, I promise to blog my entire take on the phenomenon known as poledancing at a later date.

To tide you over until then, I found this article and accompanying video rather intriguing - and laugh your ass off funny. So you think you can dance....indeed.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

ha cha cha cha!

Okay, so today's post is a quickie. Just really want to share with you the song that was all in my head this morning when I woke up. I have no control over this, people. Seriously.

So, I offer for your viewing pleasure....

Kid Creole and the Coconuts

I totally love those back up girls....are they dancing?? Oh, and we so need to bring back the sequin minidress. But the horns rock out loud.

So there you have it.

Oh and for our US friends, get out and vote - vote early, vote often! Good luck with that, y'all.

Monday, November 06, 2006

radiation confrontation

I spent the morning with my mum at the Juravinski Cancer Centre. She has to have radiation on her nose, of all places. Ah yes, the result of far too many summers spent in the sun not only without sunscreen (cos uh yeah, that just didn't exactly exist in the 1950s) but with some sort of oil spread around to deepen the tan. "Deepening the tan" is probably one of the most ridiculous phrases my mother or I could use. It's right up there with saying to the clerk at the LCBO on Friday night "Have a great weekend!" because I know (and they know and I know they know) that I'll be back the next day. But yeah, the tanning thing? No. We turn pink. For us, "deepening the tan" is when all the freckles join together, so really, what's the point? No wonder those skin cells start to rebel.

Anyway, for the past few years she and my dad had been going to a dermatologist to get little pre-cancerous spots "zapped" off. It was a no brainer really, in to see him, 5 minutes with him, then out until next time. The last time though, it was a bit trickier - a biopsy was required and now the radiation. So she's not worried at all, this is for her, just an annoyance, an inconvenience. An interference with her regularly scheduled life. "10 trips to the centre for radiation, what a pain!" says mum. Ha. And no, we are not being flip, and certainly not trying to make light of what can be an extremely serious disease. But she's done the hardcore stuff already. 12 years ago she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She beat it, obviously, but lost a lung in the fight. So we know how scary this can all be.
But I think when you take the attitude of "all right, let's do what we need to get this done and over, so we can move on with life" that has got to help you in your fight against absolutely anything. And, as my mother is a self-proclaimed tough old bird, between you and me? Those cancer cells don't have a chance.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

sunday edition

It's Sunday, so this morning while I did some dusting and other cleaning (really, I do that, just not often enough according to the giant dust balls under our bed - gross) I listened to The Sunday Edition. I really like this show, it's 3 hours of some pretty intense radio. The final hour featured an interview with Alberto Manguel, author of The Library at Night, a book that is on my list of "to-reads". Or rather it was. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe it was just that my brain had taken in a lot of stuff already this morning, or maybe the dust was getting to me, but I found that the dude totally lost me more than once. So, I'll probably still give the book a shot, as it's intriguing to me, and I'll let y'all know how I make out.

In other news, we just started watching Lost from Season 1 episode 1 this weekend and I am so hooked. So uh, why am I two seasons behind? I just am. It has to do with two little kids, working a job that required evening work plus taking a couple of night school courses. I had no tv life for quite some time. But now? Oh well now, no job, no courses and the kids go to bed at a decent hour and - wait for it - don't get up again! Well, until morning that is. So now me and the tv? We're tight again. Oh it's good to be back.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

does this count?

I'm tired and cranky, and my kids are driving me mental. But I'm posting, right? So this qualifies, right? Ok good.

Oh, and seriously, is there anything left that won't make us sick??

Friday, November 03, 2006

bless me one time

I'm a multiple sneezer. I always have been, and probably always will. If I'm going to sneeze, I'm damn well gonna do it up right. That's right, if a sneeze manifests itself, it's going to be followed by another and probably another, and well, let's be honest, maybe a dozen...or more. It's just the way I am, and I know there are lots of others out there like me, I've even met a couple. If you're a multiple sneezer like me, you know you're considered a freak. Even people who KNOW that I do the uber-sneezing still manage to look at me like I'm a freak. It's just life as one of us, right?

The thing with people who are not multiple sneezers is that they somehow feel the need to share with you how MUCH of a freak you are. As in I get a lot of: "wow, aren't you done yet?" "are you ok??" "awwww you sound like a cat when you sneeze!" Or my least favourite: "blessyoublessyoublessyoublessyou". Or, the laughing, so much laughing: "ohmygosh *laugh laugh* what's happening to you *laugh laugh*?" You know what? I've heard it ALL before. Now with people I know, friends and the like, I can deal. I guess it is kind of strange when I go into a sneezing fit, and I can laugh along, then tell them to shut up, cos hey, they're my friends right? And no doubt they have little quirks that I can good-naturedly tease them about down the road, so it's ok.

It's the strangers that truly need a right choking. Case in point. I'm in the grocery store last week and the sneezes come on in full force. Probably like 20 or more in 15 seconds. Even for me, quite an accomplishment.

shopper #1: OMG are you ok?

me: oh yeah, fine

shopper #2 blessyoublessyoublessyoublessyoublessyou ad nauseum

me: *shooting her death looks through my sneezes*

shopper #1: allergies? or a cold maybe?

me: oh, who knows *pushing my cart faster now to get away*

shopper #1: wow, well maybe there's something in HERE that you're allergic to *pointing to a bin of squash*

shopper #2: it's a bad time for allergies, are you sure you're ok?

me: *running now with my cart*

shopper #1: take care of that cold!

shopper #2: bless you! again!

WTF? Now, who in their right mind spends that much time analyzing a stranger's sneezing? The only people I know who ever get that much unwanted attention and advice are pregnant women and women with brand new babies. Having been both of those twice, I have no desire to ever get spoken to by anyone in a public place ever again, and now it's the sneezing that's bringing all the crazies to the yard? Thanks but no thanks. I know for most people, they think they're being witty and original. But, as I said before, I've heard it all.

Oh, and the infernal nonstop blessyoublessyou? That has got to stop, people. Please make it a resolution. The freaky multiple sneezers of the world thank you.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

but all the cool kids are doing it!

So you might have noticed that I've added a little button at the bottom of my sidebar. No? Ah well... anyway, it's all got to do with NaBloPoMo where bloggers post every day for 30 days. It's kinda the blogging version of National Novel Writing Month but shorter. I guess. So I for one have determined that I am up for the challenge! Hey, I'm unemployed and looking for stuff to do, right? Plus, everyone who is cool is doing it! Uh, okay the Pop Culture Librarian is doing it (technically she's the only other blogger that I'm familiar with that's doing it but she's way cool, so yeah!)

So it could be interesting. It's bound to be entertaining! And it might even be intelligent. At the very least it'll be daily. You so know you're looking forward to it.

hey! you! yo, lest we forget! yeah, i'm talkin' to you...

I've been buying and wearing the poppy since I was about 12. I'm sure I had poppies before that, but my first recollection of purchasing my very own (as opposed to having it handed to me at school) is in about grade 7. I used to spend a lot of time downtown (when downtown was SO where it's at in this city) and wiled away an awful lot of Saturday afternoons wandering through record stores, head shops and other cool stores along King St. Seriously? Who lets their kids "wander around head shops" when they're 12? Uh, did our parents even know where we were? Did we want them too? Nope...ah, good times, gooooood times....

Anyway, in my travels with my friends, I would always seek out a veteran and purchase my poppy. Back then, they were plentiful, and nearly every corner had an older gentleman standing quietly with his box of poppies, usually dressed in his legion gear. Sometimes there were women representatives, but for the most part, I remember the men. I'd put my money in the box and the veterans would always take a poppy and pin it on my lapel. A lot of the time they'd be cracking jokes and chatting, thanking me and telling me what a nice young lady I am, and to have a good day. But sometimes they were very solemn, their hands would shake, and I remember one veteran asking me if I would mind pinning the poppy myself, his hands just couldn't do it anymore. Usually I would smile, thank THEM for what they'd done and be on my way, often with tears in my eyes.

So every year around this time when I go to purchase my poppy, I remember the veterans of my youth. I don't head downtown as often anymore, but I bet if I did it would be hard to find someone on the corner selling poppies. I normally now buy them at the grocery store or the LCBO, where occasionally a veteran will be there selling, but mostly, it's just the box of poppies and a place for your money. I realize there are less veterans every year and I know that is considered a good thing, isn't it? The older veterans are dying, and there are less veterans to take their place. It's still a good thing to wear the poppy, but for me it means a little less when I can't thank the person selling it to me.

So how surprised was I in the grocery store last week to see a woman with a tray of poppies? I already had mine, and was I ever glad I did. This lady was crazy, practically assaulting people to buy her poppies. In a loud voice she would accost people with "hey, you need a poppy!" "Who wants a poppy?" "Come on, sir YOU AREN'T WEARING ONE YOU NEED TO BUY ONE!" It was a far cry from the quiet, dignified veterans that I remember, but maybe that's what we need to hear? Remembrance Day becomes just another day in our ad- and brand-filled world if we don't actually think about it, and I start to wonder how many people really do remember? And maybe what we need is more people like the grocery store poppy lady shaking it in our face and giving it to everyone going by with a "Bitch, you SO are in need of this poppy, do NOT walk past me..."

Lest We Forget. Don't make me have to come over there.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

and now for the good news...

...once this ticker gets down to zero, maybe I'll be able to get a job!! See? Botox can't save you from the ultimate end, boomers! Hmmmm.....maybe I'll start one for boomer librarians mwahahaha.....

Baby Boomer Death Counter

I just thought it was fitting for the Day of the Dead

Saturday, October 28, 2006

it's a dead man's party

who could ask for more?
everybody's coming, leave your body at the door
leave your body and soul at the door...

go here for the full video...loving the Oingo Boingo....

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

straight outta...

Once again I say god bless YouTube. Oh, and The Hour, where I found this too, natch. Please, you must watch, it is freaking hilarious. And I thought I had respect for the Muppets before...

Straight Outta Kermit

Monday, October 23, 2006

nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see...

Cuter than Linus, but perhaps not yet as philosophical.

that million dollar smile

my own little jack-o-lantern

Thursday, October 19, 2006

miss you... very and always...

July 22, 1935-October 19, 2003
love always

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

do NOT mess with George

Okay, former GG? Yeah you, bitch. Fine, go ahead and be a pompous ass, but do NOT diss my George. "Reasonably okay looking"?? - you know nothing. And honestly? I have to say I'm a little put out by the whole Clarkson on The Hour and every other radio/tv show I listen to/watch these days. Ooooh look she's got a book out! Just in time for the holidays! Pah. Michaelle Jean could TOTALLY kick her ass. Hell, so could Jeanne Sauve, really if you think about it. Now that I would pay money to see, current GG bitchslapping former GG. Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. As most of you know, I'm not a fan of the whole GG institution anyway, so to have one that is a menace, well that just pisses me off to no end. Queen's representative in Canada? Uh, why?? The whole thing so needs to be done away with. So....much....hatred....for...Canadian...institutions.... Deal.

Now as a happy aside, I did notice on George's MySpace that he has listed under people he'd like to meet... "You." As in me. I also read in TV Guide (don't judge me) that his ideal woman would be humble, compassionate and have tattoos. Score! It's just a matter of time.... heh....

here's the story...of a lovely lady...

Back in the summer, our friends held a luau. That's right, a luau. They had everything - tiki torches, leis, drinks with umbrellas - no pig on a spit, but that's ok - they even had specially-created luau CDs - courtesy of yours truly. I have a bit of a reputation for creating fairly well-crafted music CDs for various occasions. It all started with girls' weekends, because you just KNOW you need some serious girly music when you're lying in the sun drinking way too many vodka coolers and reading trashy magazines. You know you need to hear Sister Sledge and Erasure and music of that ilk at least once during the weekend so you can dance on the deck all drunk-like and tell your friends that you love them as you reminisce about drunk dancing at university, etc. It's all good for the soul.

Anyway, I've made CDs for kitchen renovation celebration parties, Canada Day parties, Christmas parties and even made one for Charles' birthday last year with some of his fave tunes. It's fun and legal (I get the tunes from iTunes, and I'm not selling the discs, in spite of Mia's big idea at girls' weekend this year) and I like to do it. So. When Mia asked me to make a soundtrack for her luau I was flattered. So I got straight to work checking out the Hawaiian and luau-related stuff...and people, can I tell you something? This has GOT to be pretty much the worst music in the world. Now I like all kinds of music, I'm open to pretty much everything. But a couple of minutes of this stuff made me just about gouge out my own eyes. My apologies to those of you who might enjoy a good Hawaiian Wedding Song or War Chant but for me it was rough going. So I got all creative and started incorporating sort of Hawaii-related terms or attributes to the songs. For instance: Charlie Don't Surf by The Clash? Sure, why not. Veruca Salt's Volcano Girls? Definitely. So you get the drift, right? Good.

Okay, so we're all there and we're luauing and chatting and eating, and someone comments to Pete what a great party, how festive everything is and Pete says, "yeah thanks, and now all we really need is that tiki idol that the boys found and then Greg wipes out surfing, remember that?" And I jumped up from my seat shouting "yes, yes, OH MY GOD yes!!!" like some sort of pop culture-starved madwoman. And honestly? At that point I kind of was. See, it's like this. That Brady Bunch episode had been on my mind since I knew I was going to a luau. I can't think of Hawaii ever without thinking of the Bradys heading there and that whole 3-part adventure, with the tabu and Vincent Price and, well, everything else that is so ridiculously clear in my mind. So why did I not bring it up at the start of the party? Because historically, I am nearly always the popular culture reference person at pretty much any event. Why? Because people, I swear to you, for every thing that could possibly ever happen, there is some sort of pop culture reference. And I'm not just talking Seinfeld stuff here. I'm talking Brady Bunch and Batfink and Leave it to Beaver and Scooby Doo and Quickdraw McGraw. I'm talking The Trouble with Tracy and Zoom and Hodgepodge Lodge. I could go on... And see, what happens is, my trivia-filled brain sees a situation as it's happening, immediately jumps to a lost episode of The Monkees, and makes the connection. Feeling oh-so smart and for some unknown reason, brilliantly current, I then let everyone else in on this connection, only to be greeted by - you guessed it - cricket sounds. So. After many years of hearing crickets, seeing blank stares and uncomfortable post-comment drink sipping followed by subject-changing and backing slowly away, I've learned to control my pop culture outbursts. Because when you have to explain the reference, it totally loses it's jazz. This is why when Pete made the Brady Hawaii connection (and even, god love him, proceeded to sing the little music bit that characterized the unluckiness of the idol) all that pent-up Brady goodness just flowed like out of me and I spent a good 15 minutes in discussion of that episode, with people who felt the pop culture love and understanding. And yes, I felt much better afterwards.

Friday, October 06, 2006

if only I'd known...

See what you get for listening to the CBC? On Freestyle the other day, I learned about Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search, so I've posted my results, and I think I've done rather well for myself, although I'll always wonder if Edgar Allan Poe would have been the better choice, I suppose...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

listening to you...

I needed a few days to let it all sink in, but I think I'm finally prepared to write about the magic that was The Who in London last Saturday evening. Wow. Such an incredible night - actually the entire weekend was incredible - but to be there, seeing that band live once again, surrounded by some of the most wonderful friends I have, well I'm not sure that any words can do it justice. But, since it's me, I'll give it a go...

:: Ready, Steady, Go! ::
We started the day with a good solid breakfast of concert DVDs. Live at the Isle of Wight, followed by a Live in Boston chaser, just to get in the mood, and especially for Viv, who'd never seen Boston, and had only seen bits of IOW. Carly and I, of course, have both shows completely memorized, but then we're freaky that way. So then, with Viv fully initiated into the cult of Who worship, and with the three of us now completely in the mood to ROCK, we proceeded to head out to get me to my hair appointment. That's right, I said hair appointment, please don't judge me. I will get to the effects of my ultra-shiny locks later... Then back to the house to wait for Ann, who arrived just on time looking like the fabulous rock chick she is, and then we were off! Well, we were off after I found my driving glasses and checked for the tickets about 8 times....but THEN we were off!!

:: Amazing Journey ::
The 403/401 west is never my favourite route to travel - it's boring and straight and unchangeing and did I mention boring? In a way though, I was thankful for the boringness of it, since the weather alternated between crappy and beyond crappy - rain/fog/wind/more of the same only worse - you get the picture. I did manage to get us there (with a slight detour that wasn't anyone's fault, really) and after some tense moments in the lobby waiting in the registration queue, tapping our feet and sighing, we checked into our hotel rooms. Finally, up to our rooms to change and get ourselves tarted up for the night. No time for a drink, although god knows I could have used one after that drive, but back down to the car we went, and off to meet more Who fans for dinner downtown.

After a great dinner, some good chat and just enough wine, we made our way to the venue. At this point we were all pretty excited (understatement of the century? perhaps...) and Viv, Carly and I went to find our seats. Which were awesome. 11th row on the floor, almost right smack dab in the middle - honestly, the best seats I'd ever had for any concert ever. So then, back out to check out the merch and the other fans out there. Concerts are always awesome for people-watching, aren't they? We heard the opening band start up and knew it wouldn't be long before we'd be in there!

And then we were in there! And it was loud! And so unbelievably incredible! And we were so close! It was just wonderful to hear and see everything. Impossible to take my eyes off the stage, trying to take in just exactly what I was seeing, it was nothing short of magic. Wow. And I'm sure my shiny hair was the reason Roger kept looking directly at me throughout the concert. Really. He was. I would swear on a stack of something. Or maybe it was just the aromatic smoke wafting around that made me hallucinate. Whatever. It's all good.

And then...just like was over.

:: The Song is Over ::
But, like good fangirls, out we went to the stage door and hung out with lots of other Who fans waiting to see who would come out. And that night, it was Pete. After he had some photos with some contest winners (or something like that, we can only assume) he made his way down the line of fans and all of a sudden he was right in front of me. Looked directly at me for a split second, and then moved on. Lots of people had albums and tickets and other things out for him to sign, but I didn't. Which is perhaps why he looked at me like I'm an idiot, but that's ok. Just seeing him there was beyond cool.

So. One of the best nights of my life? It so ranks right up there. Thank you, my amazing friends, it's hard to believe this was over 4 years in the making, that the last time The Who came through here we didn't even know each other. I believe we were meant to be there together, and I can't imagine having been there with anyone but you.

And now, to quote Ross Halfin about The Who: "Still the greatest live rock and roll band in the world, ...and if you don't believe me you can fuck off."

Thursday, September 28, 2006

just me and the penguin

I have a penguin cocktail shaker and he and I have been quite close tonight. I got him for my birthday (thank you Vivian, super sock rocker) and have really yet to have used him - mostly he sits on my stove looking all proper and shiny. But, since I'm having THE GIRLS over tomorrow night for drinks and Vegas planning (more on that later) and celebration, the penguin and I have become quite tight. Oh, and yes, since you ask, THE GIRLS so does need to be capitalized because they are my women - and seriously, the word "friend" just does not do these ladies justice - they are salvation in sexy clothes. Anyway, the penguin, he has mixed several cosmopolitans tonight - some with raspberry vodka and some with regular. And instead of cranberry, we're using pomegranate juice (cos it's all we've got and also isn't it full of antioxidants? so while we're destroying our livers, the rest of us will be a-ok, right? right.)
So I think we came up with the perfect ratio of stuff, those babies were mighty tasty. And just so you know, I wasn't alone in my tasting, John helped. And yes, he did look rather cute drinking the pink drinks after all.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Alex Baumann is back!! He even talks like an Aussie (sort of) but hey!! He's back!! Okay come on, who among us did NOT drool over the man at the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984? Well ok, those of you who weren't born or who weren't in the throes of adolescent hormone overdrive didn't drool, but really, there's no excuse for the rest of you. Anyway he's here to kick our swimmers into gear so it's all good, right?

In other news, our pm is disturbed by criticism over Canada's role in Afghanistan. Really? Um? Isn't that a good thing? Don't we welcome criticism and debate? Isn't that important in a democratic country? Am I wrong here, people? Fear....and...loathing....fear and loathing....

In happier news...

Max shoved some paper in his ear because the noise in his classroom was unbearable...we got the paper out...eventually...
Charles continues to practice his violin...
Max had a loose tooth...trauma ensued...the tooth came was dropped on a beige carpet...mummy found now rests under his pillow awaiting the tooth fairy (who has had probably way too much red wine for a Wednesday night)

and so to bed....

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Have a cold so feel beyond blech, but am still heading out to rock the Casbah (I am SO not making that up) to see Controller.Controller my newest fave band (yeah, I know, I have so many) but these guys are totally amazing. Love them, can't wait to see them live and pick up their new CD. And y'all should too. I can't really even begin to describe their style (I'm not good at that at all) but you can check out their website and get some samples for your own self and see that I know of what I speak. The having a cold part sucks big time though, but thanks to smoke-free legislation at least I won't come home coughing up a lung and smelling awful - no worse than usual, that is.

I also had to come on here to share this with the blog world too:

pickle juice sport seems legit, but it's hard to imagine pickle juice actually HELPing you hydrate, no?? Bizarre. I do think it would make a nice change from stuff like Gatorade that is so freaking sweet, though. And I also got to thinking that it might actually make a nice martini, but these folks beat me to it. Damn.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

a boy and his booty

The sweet taste of victory....and cinnamon graham crackers with rainbow frosting, of course

Friday, September 15, 2006

UPS hostage

I'm hanging out at home this morning waiting for the UPS truck. For two days, UPS has been trying to deliver a box - probably a big one - read on for more details - and I've not been around. So today, it's time to stick close to home in order to sign for said box. Oh, and the timeframe we're talking about? Well let's see - before 10:30; between 10:30 & 2pm; between 2 & 5pm; after 5pm. Great. So uh, since it's now 11am, I think it's safe to say the "before 10:30" option isn't happening. Rooting for 10:30-2pm now so I can get out of here and do stuff.

So what's in this precious UPS-delivered box? Well.....

Have you ever read the book The Contest Kid and the Big Prize? I think it was made into a TV movie at one point too, so maybe you're familiar with that version...anyway. It's a book I read when I was about 9 and as an aside, I have a ridiculously clear memory of almost every book I read as a kid, and yet books I read just last year? No clue. Can almost never remember them. Interesting huh? Or maybe sad and pathetic...whatever. But seriously, ask me about Jane-Emily or Double Spell or anything by John Bellairs or Madeleine L'Engle (her own website isn't working it seems) and I can talk all day. Those were some good times....

So back to the contest kid. The Contest Kid and the Big Prize was about a boy who entered every contest he could find. And one day he entered one, not even knowing what the prize was, but filled out the form and sent it off. One day eating breakfast there is a knock on the door and there stood his "prize" - the services of a butler. Hilarity ensued, as it always does in these cases, and there you have it. *gets out of 4th grade book report mode*

My contest kid won a prize too, he entered online at and won. We barely had any recollection of entering this contest, and couldn't remember what the prizes were, but a letter addressed to Max confirmed: one Dunkaroos water bottle, one lunch box, an adventure tool, and...wait for it.... a case - that's right a case - of Dunkaroos. Sweeeet.

But I sure could use a butler.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

randy bachman? in outer space? wha'?!

Well, the headline had me convinced.

So I have a new job. Well, ok technically it's an old job made new. I'm back working 2 shifts at the e-Library and it's so fun. I've totally missed the students, missed doing reference (especially virtually), and missed using my brain on a semi-regular basis. You'd think I'd be happy being a trophy wife with little to do all day...but you'd be wrong.

Oh, and the holidays are almost upon us, so for all you gadget girls out there, check out iBuzz

Seriously, it was only a matter of time, right? And it's worth checking out the website just for the theme music.

Monday, September 11, 2006

sounds like newfoundland

On this, the 5th anniversary of 9/11, I listened this morning to Sounds Like Canada. Shelagh was broadcasting live from Gander, where so many (38 to be exact) planes en route to either the US or Europe were grounded. I don't know about y'all but I am SO happy Newfoundland is the province at the edge of Canada in the east. Where else can you get that amazing spirit of hospitality and help while still maintaining a smile and a "awww it was nothing, really." attitude? Nowhere, that's where. Shelagh interviewed a pharmacist who spent days running around providing toothbrushes, nicotine patches and loads of other products to passengers; she spoke with a representative from the local SPCA who went to all the planes and unloaded and took care of all the animals that had been on board; she spoke with security screeners who assisted people as they got off the planes with big smiles and hugs and "we're so happy you're safe on the ground" kinds of greetings, as well as dozens more equally amazing ordinary people who went all out to ensure the best for these stranded and worried people. Absolutely incredible, and I hope if my plane ever needs rerouting, I get to go to Newfoundland. Props, Newfoundlanders - no other province could have done it better.

In other news, the pope can take a huge flying leap. Piss off.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

ah, drunks...

Courtesy of my friend Laura who is consistently rocking the joke emails. Of course, I do not recognise me or anyone else I know in any of, of course I don't...

1. Indubitably
2. Innovative
3. Preliminary
4. Proliferation
5. Cinnamon

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Loquacious transubstantiate

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, Officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.


Monday, August 28, 2006

god bless youtube

This is soooo damned funny

Billie Joe Telling About When He Met Roger Daltrey

"...and members of The Who" Bahahaha!

best headline. ever.

"Chinese police end funeral striptease acts"

Really, there's nothing to add to this...although I will say that I think the best part is that there is even a ratline for reporting inappropriate funerals. Power to the party.

Monday, August 21, 2006

embracing y'all

I've adopted the word - or, more correctly, the phrase - "y'all". I know, I'm probably not completely entitled to it, since I'm not a southerner - I kind of figure that southern Ontario doesn't really count. While I'm pretty south, I'm not in the deep south (like Windsor) but still, I have claimed it as my own. I'm not exactly sure when or why, but I think my kids have something to do with it. An example:

me (referring to the school trip Charles was going on): you're going to have so much fun!
charles: who, me?
me: well, you - and your whole class, of course
charles: but you said "you" so you meant me, right?
me: uh - well yes - but you - all of you - your whole class
charles: but you just said "you"
me: well I did, but I meant all of you
charles: but you didn't say that
oh and you just know it went on from there until I nearly chewed my own leg off...but I digress...

Part of the problem is that in English, there is no plural form of "you". In French it's "vous" for the plural (or vous for a formal singular "you") but maybe that's why Charles & Max just don't get the collective "you" when I try to explain stuff to them. When you think about it, it's confusing, and more evidence that English is a totally whacked out language after all. And while I don't condone it, you (all of you, I mean) can almost see where the (and god help me that I'm going to actually say this) "yous" comes from. Now I'm shuddering even seeing that written down, but it kind of makes some sense, when you're trying to get across the plural "you" to people who don't get it. But people, DO NOT EVER SAY YOUS. I know you won't. So this, this brings me to y'all. When you think about it, it's the perfect compromise. It's "you all" but it's one syllable - so it's like "you" - only more descriptive.

So. Will it catch on in the Hammer? Probably not. But the kids get it, which is cool. And maybe I'll become cool because of it...with the under 10 set, anyway.

'Night, y'all.

Monday, August 14, 2006


Yesterday evening was the beginning of the 16th International AIDS Conference in Toronto. Huge. Thousands of delegates from all over the world. Stephen Lewis is there (naturally). Stephen not. I can't even begin to fathom why the man didn't show up. He sent a representative. How nice. AIDS is a global crisis, Canada is hosting what is regarded as the biggest, most important conference regarding AIDS & HIV and yet the PM can't come out for even the opening ceremonies, to show his support for what's going on, to show Canada's commitment to helping.

On CBC's Ontario Today, callers were asked their opinion - does it matter that Stephen Harper isn't at the conference? They took about a dozen calls and there was only one guy that said he thought maybe Harper had a valid reason for not being there (although that reason was never stated, and this was even after one of the conference organizers said he'd been invited shortly after being elected and taking office and yet had refused way back not sure what the point was) BUT this to me, can mean only one thing...Conservative supporters don't listen to CBC.

Anyway, it's a damn shame, and an embarrassment that Harper doesn't take this conference and indeed this issue seriously. More evidence supporting my theory that Stephen Lewis should be Prime Minister...and Stephen Harper should crawl back under his rock.

Monday, July 31, 2006

i miss it already...

It's gone. The Who subsite of is gone. And I already miss it. Okay yeah, recently it didn't have all that much info on it, but was the first place I went all those years ago before the 2002 tour, and the first message board I ever read and on which I ever commented; and the place where I "met" some cool Who people; and of course it had all the diary entries and photos from that tour. And although the message forum has been gone for quite awhile, it was always nice to go back there and check things out. So now, there's still stuff on and all but....well it's just not the same, is it? So maybe this is me not getting with the program, moving with the times, etc....but I'm bummed. Still, I'm excited to be on the road to London (yeah ok it's the Ontario one) with my fab friends in two months time to see the band ROCK the John Labatt Centre (here's a tip - don't order Molson Canadian at the bar - d'oh) But I'm gonna miss that site...

61 sleeps! (I need a "sleep counter" on this site)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

my bad

I haven't updated in quite awhile and I so know you're all just beside your virtual selves because of it, but stuff has been happening - not bad stuff, just stuff - so there's not a lot of time to blog. Plus it's ubelievably hot and sitting in front of the computer is like staring at the sun, but here goes.

First of all, for those of you who did keep your fingers crossed for me getting an interview at the CBC - thanks! It worked! I did get an interview, but didn't get the job. Sadly, it was more of an entry level position, and I'm overqualified. Seriously. I don't think I've ever been overqualified for anything before, so in a way I was chuffed. But still unemployed. Ironic. The interview went really well - aside from the "no job out of it" part - so that's something I guess. And they're going to pass my resume on to some of the other librarians to see what else might be available. Yeah, not holding my breath, but it was a nice gesture. Plus I got a walk through the newsroom which excited me way more than it probably should have, and when they asked me about what CBC shows I might like, I got even more excited and spouted off a bunch that I watch/listen to and finished off with something along the lines of "you could say that I'm a CBC groupie!" Come ON - who uses the word "groupie" in a job interview. Well, I guess it kind of depends on the job doesn't it? But yeah, chances are the Mother Corporation isn't that kind of a gig. thinking back....just what did they think I was overqualified for?!

Second point for tonight. The border is closing and soon, very soon Toronto won't be able to send it's garbage to Michigan anymore. But it does seem that *some* Canadian trash is going to be getting through to the state as I read of these nuptials earlier today! Get it? Canadian trash? Going to Michigan? Pamela is Canadian and Kid Rock is from Detroit! Come on you know it's funny...

Lastly, but not leastly, a shout out to my girls, my truly awesome asskicking friends with whom I recently spent a fantastic weekend in Southampton. Where else but with your friends can you drink way too much, eat way too much, yet still come up with business plans, figure out what's wrong with the world and decide what needs to be done to fix it, bash some celebrities and celebrate others, reminisce about the crazy days and make serious plans for the future...all at the same time? Nowhere, that's where. Thanks ladies - you all rock my world.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

dude, where's my mat?

Yoga started up again last Thursday night, back at it after a 2 week hiatus while my teacher Maureen was on holiday. And it was so great to be back, even just missing 2 weeks makes my whole body seize up and people, it's not pretty. So we're there and it's the usual suspects, plus a few new suspects checking out the studio and the class for the summer session. And it's hot. As in Africa hot - or maybe India hot, since we're doing yoga - I don't know. But sweat running down your back, Bikram yoga hot - but it's good in a way, because let me tell you, the body likes to be hot, the body bends way better in the heat. Anyway, so all the doors are open to catch any sort of breeze that might be blowing, and since the studio is right on a corner and across from a park, we get gawkers. Yes that's right, people actually do stand on the corner and take a good long look and then say to their companions so we can't help but hear, "yep yer right Ethel, looks like what they're doin' in there is that newfangled yoga thing" and some will even go so far to stick their heads in and look around. Seriously. And then there are the times we go over to the park for our class. We get all sorts of weird looks, we get toddlers wandering over trying to do the postures, dogs barking around us, you name it. But usually in the studio we're safe. Or so we thought.

So it's nearly the end of class and we're all hot and tired and in a well-deserved Savasana and it starts like this:

A bunch of dudes outside: "hey hey check it out - yoga class, eh?"
1st dude: "oh man yeah, lookatem all lyin' down - heh heh yeah i'm gonna go lie down too"
2nd dude: "nah come on man, let's go"
1st dude: "no way, yeah heh heh, i'm gonna go lie down, come on"

Next thing we know, 1st dude stumbles in and lies down not 6 inches from my mat. So needless to say, I'm not nearly as relaxed as I was 30 seconds before, but ok, I'm chilling waiting to see how this is going to go down. So his buddy outside starts screaming at him to "get outta there man, come on, you know these people take this shit seriously, eh?" which actually made me laugh because in spite of the trainwreck that this seems to be turning into, there's still a sort of reverance and respect there for "this shit".

Anyway, by now, 1st dude - my mat buddy - is stretched out and my next reaction (after tensing up somewhat) is to just keep breathing, which becomes increasingly difficult as the booze aroma wafts over from him and completely masks Maureen's burning sage. And now I'm getting a bit worried. And let's be clear here - I don't have a problem with drunk people - heck I very often AM drunk people - it's just that a dude that is drunk enough to crash a yoga class might start out all mellow and "duuuuuude this is awwwwesome and I looooove you guys" but some little thing like a giggle or a sniff might just set him off and now all of a sudden he's all up in your face wanting to do harm.

So he stays, and wow, total props to Maureen for continuing as if nothing weird was going down. Drunk dude is still lying there making some soft snoring/moaning sounds - and uh dude? I so could have told you that when you're that tanked and you lie down, there's a very good chance you're not going to be able to get up again any time soon. So we finish up and now we're in our seated position again, with our eyes still closed. So as of yet, I haven't seen this guy, but given the state of his drunkenness (which seemed blinding) and the way he spoke, I kind of figured he was one of the older guys you sometimes see wandering round the park. But once Maureen had us open our eyes and I could get a look at my yoga partner, he wasn't an old rummy at all but a kid - probably not more than 20 (which technically I understand is not a kid, but you know what I mean) And I was so shocked at this little street dude - skinny white kid, no shirt and beyond sunburned (probably from drinking all day in the sun), hat on sideways (I'm sure there's a term for that - my dad used to say their hats were "on lock" - but something tells me that's not it) and those big ass baggy jeans - the pockets of which you might not have known comfortably hold a 26er of vodka. Ah, so now I understand why they're so popular.

Now, by this time you'd think drunk dude would be on his way, but he actually stuck around. At the end of the class, Maureen will often go around the circle and ask how we are, what we got out of the class, how it felt. So we each do our thing, and Maureen gets to drunk dude and he says "yeah, it was good man, I feel relaxed and I like being mellow so yeah, it's cool". Then he thanked Maureen, got up, stumbled past her and managed to bounce off both sides of the door frame as he made his way out.

Once he was gone, we rolled up our mats and had a bit of a laugh about how that was a first, and maybe we should all pitch in and get A/C for the studio so we don't have to keep the doors open, but all the way home I just kept thinking about this little dude. I wondered if he'd go off and tell his buddies about how he crashed the class, like it was some sort of conquest. Or, would the fact that Maureen didn't toss him out, that she let him stay and let him participate sort of stay with him? Would he try to come back sober? Was it enough of a positive experiece for him that he'd do it again? Now, I don't think that every person that happens to be pissass drunk in the afternoon on occasion is a lost soul wasting their life (hello, university??) but it was such a unique experience and it was handled with so much kindness and understanding, that I think it must have made an impact on our drunk yoga dude. At least I hope it did.

Friday, July 14, 2006

July 14, 2000 - 10:50 am

Maxwell Robert made his entrance in to the world kicking and screeching as only a newborn baby can. I swear that if they hadn't decided that he should come out that exact day, he'd have stayed in there forever - that's just the kind of kid he is. But, there he was, all 8 pounds 5 oz of the roundest faced baby boy I'd ever seen (the roundness is still there btw) and I remember my first words to John being "oh my god - he looks like Herb!" And did he ever - and he still does. And from the very beginning, Max became the easiest baby in the world to look after - quite serious about this - he slept a lot, ate very well and just basically blended into our family so well that it was almost subversive. And still, that's the kind of kid he is. He's smart - but doesn't really show off that he's smart. He's funny - but also very subtle (ok yeah, subtle for a 6 year old - not exactly urbane, but you know what I mean)

So in honour of his birthday, I offer
Top Ten Best Things About Max:

10 - he has the most perfect smile with tiny little white baby teeth - I know I'll cry when they start to fall out
9 - he knows all the words (or rather thinks he does) to You Better You Bet - and sings it a full volume driving in the car (especially fun in the summer with the windows down and people staring in at us)
8- he shows the same amount of enthusiasm and gratitude for a slurpee from the 7-11 that he would show if he won $1000000
7 - he absolutely flat out refuses to watch March of the Penguins because "um mummy? i hear it's very very sad, and i don't think i'd like to see it because it's so sad...i think a penguin dies!" (all said with an intense look of concern and sadness on his face)
6 - at any given time he's wearing a cape and/or a Spiderman costume
5 - some songs make him cry
4 - he had an altercation with a kid at school who was trying to make him say that the girls aren't cool and he refused because, as he said "but I wouldn't say it mummy, because the girls ARE cool!"
3 - he has a reputation with some of his friends' parents of being the "politest kid in the world"
2 - he loves broccoli and asks if it's ok if we buy spinach while we're grocery shopping
and the number 1 best thing about Max is...
that there are at least another hundred things I can boast about - he's just amazing - and he's my superstar. Happy Birthday Max honey - I love you so much.

Monday, July 10, 2006

it's like thunder...lightning...

...thank goodness I'm brave otherwise being home alone today would be frightening! Crazy weather.... So yeah, home alone and working on cover letters and resumes, checking job boards and - uh - *cough*blogging*cough*. Well, it's break time, and since I'm not having coffee I'll blog.

Big win for Italy yesterday yay!! I was truly embarrassed for Zidane after his outburst, and I'm sure as soon as it happened he gave his head a shake (and not just because it probably hurt) and thought "wtf did I just do?" Not the best way to finish up his career, and definitely deserving of the red card. I felt badly for French fans too, but still rather elated that Italy wound up on top!

Have you found Sean yet? Oooooh if not, Sean Cullen is hosting Simply Sean on CBC Radio One - Saturday mornings from 10:00-11:00. He is probably one of the funniest men ever. EVER. And I don't think he has a script, he's that funny.

[side note > does anyone else think that since I do so much promotion of the CBC on my blog, that maybe I ought to go work for them? I thought so - that's why I applied for a job in their Toronto library - so fingers crossed, k?! < ]

Sean's website [link above] is hysterical, and I recently read his book "Hamish X And The Cheese Pirates" which is a great (quickie) read. It's aimed at young adults (frankly, I think I qualify) and yes, he does even make one or two Eskimo references, just so you know.

In other Sean-related news (albeit with a different spelling) we watched Shaun of the Dead this weekend, which has got to be THE funniest zombie movie ever made. The tagline reads "A Romantic Comedy. With Zombies." How on earth could you resist?!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

lunch...and shoes...

...two of my absolute favourite things in the world. Does that make me shallow? Well if it does, then honey, let the water out cos I'm about as shallow as you can get. Shallow like Elaine says to Jerry, "just when I think you're the most shallow man in the world, you manage to drain a little more out of the pool" - so yeah, go on and drain that pool. But going out for lunch and then shopping for shoes - when accompanied by my best friend in the world - is just about the best day all around. Shallow? Nah, not us.

I've always had a thing for lunching out. Do I sound like Charles from Brideshead Revisited? Ha - well it's intentional. I'm pretty sure it all started as a child and the promise of lunch at either the White Grill or Eaton's with my mum after shopping downtown. Then, moving on to highschool outings - shopping trips with friends and lunch on Saturdays - sometimes the Eaton's cafe and once or twice the Chicken Roost! Later, Sbarro further up in the mall. Ah, those were the days...but always, lunch has been my thing. I still love it more than going out for dinner. Why? Probably because it reminds me of shopping lol. Whatever. All I know is that when A. and I are retired, we are SO going to be the ladies who lunch...and shop for shoes... We can truly spend hours and hours wandering in to shoe stores and just trying on for the sake of trying on. "These are cute, right?" "Oh yeah, so cute" "And what about these?" "Yeah, you totally need those"

And incidentally, the hot shoes pictured above? I tried those love loved them...but didn't buy them.

Who's shallow now??

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Forza Italia!

We just watched Italy beat Germany in the World Cup semi-final and although it's all quiet in this neighbourhood, I'm sure the one where I grew up is beyond crazy right now. In spite of my surname, and while I always like to see the host country do well, I'm SO excited for Italy! So...will they face Portugal? Or France? Hmmm....we'll find out tomorrow! I have to admit, I'll be sad when the final game is played, when it's all over for another 4 years. But for now Va L'Italia!

In other exciting news, it's a fantastic time to be a Who fan. Not that it isn't *always* a fantastic time to be a Who fan, but during their current tour, the band is broadcasting live via the web at!! I got to see their entire performance from Hyde Park Calling which was beyond incredible - $.99 for a whole Who show - unreal - and yes, I'd call that a bargain...

And yes....I'm speechless....

Thursday, June 29, 2006

sensory overload @ your library

So every kid in west Hamilton was at the library today, I swear. Most of them under the age of 8, half on the computers playing games, some reporting their books read to the summer reading program staff member; some at the train table playing with the trains, several running around spinning the paperback racks and some actually reading at tables. A room off the childrens' area had participants for a toddler circle time - there was much screaming and many toddlers trying to get away - not exactly toddling at all, more like running at full tilt, with a frazzled caregiver on their tail. As for me, well I just stood in the middle of it all, fascinated. No, really. The library is brightly lit, the staff are more than patient, and the area for kids is unbelievably fun and kid-friendly. Can I get a collective "duh" from y'all? Shouldn't the kids area BE kid-friendly? Indeed it should - and I know it is, I've been to this library dozens of times with the kids, and it rocks. But it never ceases to amaze me how different public libraries are now. Of course people, we're going back 30 years or more and I really don't want to start on the "when I was a youngun.." and bore you to tears, but there it is. Let's start with the "brightly lit" part. I remember the library being dark - like really dark - like "your eyes need to spend several minutes adjusting to the dark after you locked your bike on the rack outside and opened the great big door and stepped in out of the summer sunshine" dark. Which was ok - in a way I liked it - it added to the mysteriousness of the place. Next, let's revisit the "spinning and screaming" - my library was quiet. Ok not tomblike, but there was definitely not the buzz that you get today. Finally I'd like to address the "train table" - only one of the dozens of toys available at our library today. I vaguely remember a toy lending library as part of the whole library thing, but there wasn't really anything to play with while you were actually in the library. I never borrowed toys. I had lots of toys, I was there for books - always lots and lots of books.

Today both boys signed up for the summer reading program, and Max even got his very own library card. (side note - remember the Happy Days episode where Fonzie gets a library card? And he tells Ritchie "anyone can get one - and they're free!" and registration for library cards went up like 500% in the US after that episode? That's the kind of power I'd like to have....) So anyway, I told the boys about my favourite book when I was young - it was called "Rosa Too Little" by Sue Felt (see how I'm a natural in the library world?) and it was about a little girl who really wanted a library card of her own, but she was too little - she had to be able to print her name before she could get a card, so she always had to have her older sister sign out the books for her - until the very end when, of course, she prints her name and gets her library card. Classic.

So on the way home as we were talking about our books and I was telling the guys how great they were (they were - always good boys at the 'brary) I was also telling them how much fun I always had at the library when I was a kid, how one of my favourite things to do on a summer day was to ride my bike to the library (kids love it when you reminisce and tell them about your childhood - sure they do, don't they??) and Charles said "wow, it's no wonder you ended up working in libraries, you really love them..." And - as usual - he's right.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

my name is elizabeth...

...and I'm a Crystal Light addict.

That's right people, I said Crystal Light. Although I SWEAR it might as well be crystal meth. Now, I'm a good water drinker - always have been since I jumped into weight watchers about 12 years ago. I drink a lot of water, and I've never complained. I like water. Like the taste, like the coldness (although I can even drink it room temperature if needed), like the way it makes me feel as in I'm doing something good for myself. So one day while grocery shopping I came across this big ol' CL display (CL is code, like the street name for the stuff - uh huh, yo I've got street cred, know what I'm sayin'?) so I think ", you just add a pack to a 500ml bottle of water...nice...a nice change from regular water..." Yeah, and that's just how it started. Hooked from the first sip of Raspberry Ice. So now, I open the fridge and grab a bottle and I think "yeah, I'm just going to have this WATER" and then I'm in the cupboard digging around for a pack of Tangerine Grapefruit - which is ok and will do in a pinch when the raspberry is gone and WHO DRANK MY RASPBERRY and oh yeah it was me, but I've forgotten because it's all such a blur and now I'm adding 2 packs at a time to my big 1 litre Nalgene bottle and shaking it like a fiend and I just don't know where it will end. "Bring out your beauty"? Pah. Bring out your inner addict - and pass the vodka cos I'm pretty sure that raspberry CL & Absolut will be my summer drink - like I have a choice

Sunday, June 25, 2006

does the noise in my head bother you?

max: you know what mummy? sometimes there are voices in my head!
me: really - um - what do they sound like?
max: well, sometimes they sound like you...sometimes like darth vader! and sometimes like charles...or fireworks...
me: *getting nervous* ok....well.... what do they say to you?
max: hmm. wellllll....i forget. it ok if i have some kool-aid?
me: sure...


Monday, June 19, 2006

coming home...

Father's day yesterday, and while I never, ever want to minimize the importance of the holiday, and I naturally want to celebrate the lovely man who is my husband and "daddy extraordinaire" to our boys, I still find the day incredibly sad. The pain is lessening as the years go by, but I'm sure it will always be this way, won't it? Always a void. Finding the perfect card for him, but not buying it. Life goes on but I don't have to like it. :) I know it's a difficult day for my mum too - she of course feels the loss of her own father (26 years ago now) as well as her husband. The day was usually spent in the backyard, my dad at the bbq, lots of chat and celebration. It was home. We never went out for dinner - why bother? A Herb-grilled meal was the best steakhouse in town. Except for me, of course, who eats only "twigs & grass" (according to my dad lol, he never got the refusal to eat meat thing, but he loved me anyway) And Herb was a homebody anyway - better to have everyone over to our house than to try to take the party anywhere else.

My mum lost one of her oldest and closest friends a couple of weeks ago. Aunt J was not really an aunt, but such a part of my life from the time I was a baby, that she was just that - Aunt J. 65 years she and my mother had known each other, and her funeral was one of the most difficult I have ever attended. The sense of loss for her family was so intense, and it was so hard to see my mum grieving for yet another friend. The service was lovely, the minister knew her well, so he was easily able to speak about her in intimate terms. So that was hard, but for me the most difficult part of the funeral process comes at the very end. Leaving the cemetery while the casket remains has got to be one of the saddest walks a person will ever do. Leaving Aunt J there alone just seemed so wrong. And yes, I know that the representative from the funeral home waits alongside the casket until the cemetery people lower it into the ground, but all I could think was that if I'd had to leave my dad there...I would still be there. I couldn't leave him. I am so thankful for my parents' wishes - cremation just seems so right.

You see, whenever my dad was hospitalized - and it was quite often in the final years of his life - all he ever wanted to do was go home. "When are they letting me out?" "Bissy, come on, let's bust me out of here, what do we have to do?" Each time he did come home and couldn't have been happier. The last time, of course, he didn't. He stayed at the hospital, but then made the trip to the funeral home and then to the crematorium. A couple of days later we got a call from the funeral home saying that his ashes were ready to be picked up. So up we went to get him - now in a very plain urn in a blue felt bag - like a Crown Royal bag - we joked about that on the drive home.

Bringing the urn into the house, my mum said "you're home".
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