Tuesday, October 18, 2005

...until the twelfth of never, and that's a long, long time

Two years ago tonight. What was I doing? Watching and waiting as my dad, my hero breathed on his own during his last night ever. I've found myself reliving that night the past few days and the pain and the grief just come in waves. I'm thankful for my solitary job, where my swollen eyes aren't noticed - buncha engineers, what do they know?? ;) hee... But reliving that night, it's unbelievable how the details are so clear in my mind, that all the times are exact and everything down to what the nurses were wearing and how many times we checked on him are still in my head. I know it will get better, it's already better than last year, and next year will be easier, but never ever will the pain go away.

You ask how long I'll love you
I'll tell you true
Until the Twelfth of Never
I'll still be loving you...

[one of the songs my dad used to sing to me at bedtime when I was little]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful story. I've always loved this song and what it means between my husband and me, but now to think if it as a song a father sang to his child makes it even more beautiful. I know I will think of you and this story whenever I hear the song now. Thank you for sharing. It does get easier in the sense that the pain lets up, but it still hurts because death was not in God's original design.

Site Meter