Sunday, October 30, 2005
shout out to the mamas!
Two of my friends are pregnant. I'm so excited for both - for one, this will be her 3rd child (I can't even comprehend, lol, but I am very impressed) and for my other friend this will be her 2nd. Of the two I am most concerned for the latter. She is the most wonderful woman and she deserves every happiness, and yet pregnancy has always been so incredibly difficult for her from the beginning. I don't pretend to understand fertility or lack thereof, and she's not always forthcoming with information, which is of course her prerogative. She can tell me as much or as little as she wants, as she needs. She is my friend, and my role in all of this is to be available for her when I'm needed. I can't imagine the heartache, having never experienced either difficulty in becoming pregnant, or any sort of loss during pregnancy. What I want to do is protect her, I think that's my nature. I want her to be safe, I want her baby to be safe. I hold my breath even as I write this, not wanting my words to somehow shake the order of things, as if merely talking about it can make a difference. I will let my breath go only when I am beside her in the hospital next spring holding her brand new, hours old babe. All will be well.